This is a very non-traditional event in many ways yet it is also a legal marriage ceremony.  We decided to go the non-traditional route because we have been together for so long already and we've been looking for an excuse to have a big beach bash!  An opportunity for celebration doesn't get any better than this. 

Because its different, we've received a lot of questions that we'd like to answer here so that everyone has a good time.  First and foremost, relax, enjoy, do your own thing, catch up with old friends, make new friends and have a cocktail!

Q. Can I really wear my bathing suit to the wedding?

A. Absolutely!--its the beach.  Wear whatever you will feel comfortable in. Because the weather on the coast can be different than inland and it can change dramatically with a shift of the wind, you may want to bring warmer clothes for a quick change.  We will have two changing tents on the beach and our house will be open all day for your use.

Q. I'm thinking of bringing my children, will there be other children there?

A. We love to see kids of all ages enjoying the beach.  Based on RSVPs we've received so far, we think there will about 30 children aged 1-53 (my sister Janet, a big Bugs Bunny Fan, skewed the upper range!). We'll be handing out beach pails and shovels to the kids as they arrive and have some fun activities planned.

Q. Are you listed in any gift registries?

A. No, gift giving is a very personal choice.  Please do whatever you like, something from the past, something that you made, jokes or no gift at all. This is non-traditional. Supporting gay marriage at the ballot box would make a great gift!

Q. Do I have to dress up for the Cabaret?

A. We're encouraging beachwear all day so bathing suits, shorts, T-shirts, etc are fine.  Please wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.  If you want to change, there are changing tents, you can do the towel thing or the house is open too.

Q. Can I take a shower before the Cabaret?

A. A shower certainly isn't necessary but if it would make you feel better to get that suncreen off, sure. We have an outdoor shower or you can use the guest shower on the first floor.  We have an 80 gallon hot water tank--so first come first served!

Q. What should I bring?

A. Beach chairs, beach umbrella, beach towel, sunscreen, sweater/sweatshirt.  We'll have picnic table seating for about 90 guests under the tent.  Since we are anticipating about 200 guests, we're either going to have a game of musical chairs for the cookout or I'm sure some people will be perfectly comfortable having a picnic on their beach chair or beach blanket.  We'll have some beach chairs available for you to use if you don't have one or can't fit it on the plane:)

Q. Where are the actual vows going to take place?

A. On the beach, next to the tent. If you want a close-up view you might want to temporarily put your beach chair under the tent in a semi-circle around the platform.

Q. I'm a vegetarian and don't eat meat or fish, will there be something I can eat?

A. Nancy, our caterer, will have vegetarian options available.

Q. Is it really necessary to park in the town parking lot?

A. Yes. Parking at the beach is at a premium, all the spaces will probably be gone by 9:00am.  The shuttle bus will meet you at the parking lot and drop you off at our house.  The bus will be running all day, so if you're late or need to leave early, the bus will be there for you.

Q. Are you going to kiss after the vows?

A. What do you think?

 

 

Don's 30 Days to Marriage Blog

Saturday May 15th

Today's project was to build a new 16' flower box to hang on the fence. Doesn't everyone need to build a custom flower box before their house party for 150? Well, optimist and pessimist reversed today.  I said two hours, Michael said five hours.  It's been ten hours and the count continues...

Sunday May 16th

I have a really nasty cold and sore throat and can barely speak. Thankfully I have this now and not on June 12th. The flower box is done. Total: 16 hours (one hour per foot).  Nothing else accomplished on the wedding to-do list.

Monday May 17th

It's official, at 12:45pm today, we applied for our marriage license at Salisbury Town Hall.  We went with Nancy and Sue who also applied for their marriage license, so cool!

We met with the Police Chief to arrange for a detail officer and met with the Beach Club owner to work out an agreement to use their facility as a foul weather backup.

Town meeting 7pm.

Tuesday May 18th

Busy day at work, nothing to report

Thursday May 20th

Mailed deposits for the band and dj.  Changing tents arrived via UPS and the parts to fix the faucet arrived. Today was the first day that we can legally get married after the three day waiting period.  Town hall is closed on Thursdays and Fridays. The Town Clerk offered to give them to us today but we'll wait until Monday when it reopens.

Saturday May 22nd

Attended a campaign kickoff breakfast for State Representative Michael Costello.  He is incredibly supportive of Gay marriage and we owe him a debt of gratitude.  Rep. Costello said that his daughter blew up the beach ball invitation and has been playing with it ever since, he can't find the ball--so if you see him wandering about, tell him where the party is! 

We reviewed our "to do" list and actually accomplished a couple of things.  We fixed our 2nd fl bathroom faucet, hung a couple of pieces of art that have been searching for a wall for several years and called a couple of places about wedding cakes.  Did you know that some people pick out their wedding cakes up to a year in advance?

Sunday May 23rd

Today's recap is what we were going to do and we actaully did. We were going to a friend's house for a reception for the local artist George Augustus whose work we greatly admire, scheduled for 2pm. We were still working on the 2x4 wind stops for the ocean deck roll-up wind blocks (hard to explain). Condo shopping, mother visit, martini, end of story.

Monday May 24th

Sue picked up our marriage license today, wow!

Wednesday May 26th

We met with Danielle (planner) and Nancy (caterer).  We are truly driving both of them crazy and there's no doubt that they will be considering other career opportunities when this is over or at least be taking a long vacation! It was a great meeting however and we are having a lot of fun working out the details for the party.  Michael had prepared a visio diagram mapping out the tent and table locations, still in progress. We went over our task list and Michael's sister Kathy volunteered (drafted?) to decorate the cabaret area.

Thursday May 27th

Picked up six picnic tables at Home Depot.  They are much heavier than I thought--ouch!  Six more tables on order..to be delivered this time.  After we are done with tables, we are donating them to The Youth Enrichment Center at Hilton-Winn Farm. 

Friday May 28th

Dropped off the Honda to get the cracked windshield replaced.  Honda North is not easy to deal with--you can't talk to a live person when you call, it always goes to voice mail. Nancy and Sue made us a wonderful dinner. Picked up some sand chairs and vinyl tablecloths for the picnic tables at K-Mart!

Saturday May 29th

It was very windy at the beach today.  This made it difficult to work outside but we did manage to assemble two picnic tables (mostly Michael) and plant the whiskey barrels. The other six tables arrived by special delivery on the back of one the home depot "boys" pick up truck.  They're in the driveway wrapped in a tarp--I hope they make it to the beach assembled before the cookout :)

Sunday May 30th

Michael's family came over for a take-out Chinese food lunch and Kathy's birthday celebration (what happened to the cake?). It is truly amazing to see such a happy group of octagenarians and to have their support of our relationship and pending marriage is very special.

Monday May 31st

More pails for the kids appeared in our garage! Put in the window screens (latest ever). We had dinner with Ben and Brad who will be performing at our wedding cabaret.

Wednesday June 2nd

Found seven more tablecloths at K-mart on my way home from a client appointment in Boston. Very high tide today--hope there is room on the beach for the tent and BBQ grills...........

Thursday June 3rd

Another very busy day at work.  The unity bracelets arrived, they are quite nice but should have been "printed" an inch more to the left.  I called the vendor, they said they would take a look at the issue. SBBA meeting in the evening 7:30-10:00.

This weather is making me nervous...What could have been mistaken for a tornado appeared over the ocean right outside my office window! I am not making this up, there is a picture of it on the front page of the Daily News.

Friday June 4th

We cooked hamburgers and sausages for our DJ and wedding planner as we worked out some final details.  The sun finally appeared.

Saturday June 5th

Gym in the morning, fundraiser for The Youth Enrichment Center at Hilton-Winn Farm at night (had to leave early to pick up some stuff at Home Depot). 

Danielle stopped by to drop off the picnic table condiment centerpieces, she solved the issue quite nicely.

Sunday June 6th

Home Depot again--I had no idea weddings involved so many visits to home depot and K-Mart.

Attended another fundraiser for Mike Costello in Newbury. It was at a brand new home on the marsh--what a spectacular view! There were many local gay and lesbian couples in attendance.  I'm glad to see the turn out for Mike, he was truly a leader at the state constitutional convention for same-sex mariage rights.

Had to leave the fundraiser early to meet with our caterer, everything including the fried clams is set to go!

Went out for chinese food, a cocktail and attempted to write the ceremony on the back of Chin-Chin's placemat.

Monday June 7th

Went to Kmart for some roping stakes and ended up buying the water for the party--2o cases! Did you notice another visit to Kmart.

Made some progress writing the ceremony and vows.  My sister Janet and Randy Dow both agreed to saying a few words during the ceremony. Thank you very much, we apologize for the short notice-do people actually plan these things months in advance?

My brother Kevin volunteered to greet guests as they arrive and present them with our unity bracelets, thank you Kevin.

Tuesday June 8th

The window washers arrived at 8:00am and did a great job. If there are no storms between now and Saturday, the windows may actually be clean for the wedding. A very nice carpenter working next door fixed our long missing (2 years) piece of aluminum trim!

Michael cleaned the garage (5 hours) which the caterers will be using as a staging area--he did a great job!!! I like when I have to go to Boston to visit a client all day and magically things get done in my absence:)

On my way home I picked up some sheet music for the DJ to sing one of our favorite songs.....stay tuned.

Spoke to my old friend David who I haven't seen for 10 years, he's coming with his wife and two children.

Wednesday June 9th

No visit to Kmart today.

We made great progress on writing our vows and finalizing the flow of the ceremony.  We spoke with the JP for about an hour and he has everything under control.

Thursday June 10th

Had to take an extra day off from work.

Went liquor shopping, it was really a lot of fun filling up the shopping cart with all kinds of stuff that you need a good excuse to buy (10 bottles of Grey Goose Vodka and Stoli, Bombay gin, Beefeater gin, Mount Gay Rum, Myers Rum, Malibu, Capt, etc, etc.  Everyone in the store was pointing at us and got a good chuckle.

The movers came and took away our second floor furniture to make room for the piano and cabaret tables!

We went for our Tux fitting--not quite right, have to go back on Friday.

Michael's uncle Nick had to undergo an emergency quadruple by-pass operation.  So far he doing ok.  Needless to say, he and his wife Tillie will not be attending the wedding.  We are disappointed as they have been so supportive but we are hoping for a full and speedy recovery! Rumor has it that Tillie's hat contest entry will be on a surrogate head.

Friday June 11th

What can I say, pandemonium! The tent people arrived before I could finish shaving. Mike Maginifico has been really great, he brought by a beach wheelchair for Michael's mother at 8:00am.

Kathy's fiance David arrived around 9:00am to help assemble the picnic tables and worked all day.

Nancy's catering arrived around 10:00am bringing in all kinds of stuff.

Tom and Randy arrived around noon and started right in on assembling the rest of the tables with David and my brother Thomas with Tim.  Thomas and Tim carried at least seven of the tables from the street to the beach--they are going to have sore muscles in the morning!

After much debate, a general layout of the tent, tables, grills, platforms and serving tables was determined.

The beach roses are in full bloom!

The JP stopped by for a rehearsal which was cool. Then we took everyone out to dinner at Matty's Grill.

10:59pm, I finally finished writing my vows.

Saturday June 12th

A day filled with emotion, lots of fun and lots of love. You made this special for us, thank you.

 

 

 
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